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Has Pandemic Parenthood Life Made Me More Present

Hello, friends!

We are midway through Shadow School 30-Day Yoga Challenge, and I feel as though I’m at a crossroads…again.

This week, Steph asked me if I would be offering in-person training in the New Year. I stopped what I was doing (Steph and I tend to do too many things at once while talking) and thought about it. I realized I hadn’t thought about it at all. I feel I’m just getting used to offering my work in the virtual space, and I hadn’t even considered coming back into the physical space with my community.

The future still feels so uncertain — hasn’t it always been? I used to plan my work schedule a year out. Since covid and Karmen entered my life, I’ve had difficulty planning even three months out.

Has pandemic parenthood life made me more present?

The short answer is yes.

On the days I’m with Karmen, I plan our outings based on the weather in the next few hours.

On the days I work, I plan my schedule in the morning.

The thought of the future has been giving me a bit of anxiety lately — just pile that on top of my daily anxiety dose, and we’ve got what feels like a weighted blanket of heaviness. Back under the covers, I go.

No, no, up I get.

Get dressed and start with baby steps.

INHALE. Plan the next week. EXHALE.

INHALE. Add three months. EXHALE.

INHALE. Look into the future. EXHALE.

What do I want to see?

What do you want to see?

Is there space in our brains and lives to be both spontaneous and have an outline?

The obvious answer is, OF COURSE.

The next question is HOW?

How do we hold both the planned and spontaneous?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to reply to this letter or post your response in our community Facebook Group

This coming week, I will try and make loose plans for the future while leaving pockets for the impromptu coffee you might invite me to.

See you soon, I hope,

Clara.

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