Hello, friends!
Do you come from a place of abundance or scarcity?
How does that show up in your thoughts, words and actions?
How do you interact with those who have a different mindset than you?
These are the questions I’ve been sitting with this week. I have, for a long time, worked with the idea of abundance. There is enough in this world for all of us; there is a place for each of our individual offerings. I don’t need to put you down in order to elevate.
NOTE: I understand that an abundant mindset is a privilege. Scarcity is a legit mindset for many people who are just trying to put food on their tables and keep roofs over their heads.
I have encountered the scarcity mindset in many places in my life. Industries use the scarcity mentality to make more money and create a competitive culture that motivates employees to try harder.
When I first moved to Vancouver, I couldn’t get a job teaching yoga. I had to go back to serving for a bit. I ended up working at a very scarcity-driven restaurant. It was a non-pooled house, meaning we did not split tips, and how much money you made was directly related to the section you got — which was directly related to how the manager on duty felt about you. Also, there were only two women on the floor. Most women didn’t last at this place and the managers tried to pit us against each other right off the bat.
I don’t believe in competitive working environments; I think it creates hostility, not community. The last place I worked in NYC was a pooled house; most of us had been working together for 6 years. We were a family. We helped each other out whenever we could. There was a strong sense of community and it made work very enjoyable.
I also don’t believe in competing against other women — it’s already an uphill battle just being a woman. Let’s work together to elevate our gender, not fight each other to get ahead.
Back to the scarcity restaurant — I helped out wherever and whenever I could and befriended the other female server as fast as I could. We are still good friends today. I did not last long at this place as I do not thrive in hostile environments and I left as soon as I could.
The yoga industry is not that different, and there are studios that cultivate competitive environments — that pit teachers against each other. This kind of work culture ultimately benefits the company, not the individuals. I stand behind companies that are interested in helping individuals thrive AND elevate the community/company.
Why am I sharing all this? This week I’ve been working with someone who comes from a scarcity mindset. They don’t believe there is enough for everyone, they have a strong sense of entitlement and they don’t believe we can all thrive in the industry.
After our initial meeting, I was drained. Holding space/listening to someone who has trust issues and looks for the negative is exhausting. I had forgotten what it was to live in that place. I lived there in my teenage/early 20s and was a ball of anxiety because of it.
What changed for me was TRUST. There is so much I can’t control, so much I can’t change in the world, in how things are run. I realized that I had some intense trust issues. I worked on them both on my mat and in therapy. With time, I shifted. I learned to first and most importantly myself, then others. It took time but I got there. I learned that I can choose to see the positive; I can choose to trust that there is more to any given situation than what I’m seeing and experiencing.
Altering my mindset doesn’t change most situations, but it has lowered my stress levels. In turn, it has made it easier to make well-thought-out decisions instead of impulsive ones. Well-thought decisions have led me to more positive situations, which in turn keeps my stress levels low. It has been a winning decision, long term.
When I encounter scarcity mindsets in others, I have to remember two things — this person is in a hell realm at the moment and they have not had trusting relationships in their past. Where they are right now, is a direct correlation to how they were brought up and what wounds they are carrying. If I can remember that, I can tap into my empathy and work with where they are — not trying to change them but instead sharing a different perspective on how to see the situation. Which has been helpful in collaborating with people who don’t have the same lens on life as I do.
Coming back to the original questions and adding a few more –
Do you come from a place of abundance or scarcity?
What is your relationship to trust, in yourself and others?
How does that show up in your thoughts, words and actions?
Do you tend to look for the positive or negative in situations?
How do you interact with those who have a different mindset than you?
How do you manage your stress level?
I’m off to row — one of my favorite ways to manage stress. Email me your thoughts –
Clara
