Shoot Me

I listened to a great On Being podcast with Oliver Burkeman titled Time Management for Mortals.

It was a timely podcast to listen to. This week I feel like I’ve been just getting through my to-do lists. Endless dishes, meal preparations, sleep time, laundry, work emails—and repeat. To the point that I’m thinking, what’s the point? Where is the joy? How can I access the sacred in these mundane tasks? DOES IT END???

Sigh.

In the podcast, Burkeman reminds us that it does not all get done. Instead of managing our time, manage our expectations. Get through what you can and then go onto something else. We spend more time doing the little things to avoid doing the bigger tasks. He also shared that we procrastinate doing things we really love by doing small tedious tasks.

Hmmmm…I sat with this. How have I been spending my “free” time? After putting Karmen down, I usually clean up, wash dishes and sit down. I’ve also been napping when she naps to catch up on my zzzz’s and reboot my system.

I was emailing with a friend recently, updating them on what life has been like the past few years. It’s been a strange one. Before having Karmen I did what I wanted, when I wanted. Now I feel chained to someone else’s schedule. It’s fine most days if I am able to have a bit of time for myself. If not, it feels like a grind.

I have worked for myself for almost two decades—which means I have created my own schedule, did what I wanted to do when I wanted. Worked, played, ate and slept when I wanted.

Having a kid has changed all that. Obviously. I’ve never really experienced “the grind” as I don’t have a 9-5 job.

Routine is good but doing the same thing every day. Shoot me. I’ve had a routine but it’s a weekly one. On Mondays I do this, on Tuesday this, and so on. With a set daily schedule, it’s harder to find time to navel-gaze. So much of the creative process happens in those quiet moments. Looking out the window, listening to music, free-flowing, wandering without a direction. As I write this, I start to see that I can do this with Karmen. I just need to choose to shift my brain while we’re walking, eating or playing.

“It comes back to creating the sacred in the mundane. Burkeman speaks about really immersing yourself in whatever task you’re in and when it’s time to shift gears, can you let go of what you had just been doing and immerse yourself in the next one? I’d like to take it a step further and say while doing your task, can you also step back and see the bigger picture? See yourself doing the task, see the surroundings. Take yourself into the wider view. 

My homework for the coming week, and perhaps yours, is to find/create/intend a wider view. Can I do what I’m doing fully AND take a step back and see the larger picture?

Sending you a warm and gentle hug,

Clara